What friends have done to me

I know I’m lucky to say this, but I haven’t been badly burned by people who call themselves my friends. I haven’t really been belittled or backstabbed, forgotten or forsaken. For any of you who carry around hurts from friends – especially people you once deeply cared about – I’m sorry. There are people out there who won’t do that to you, and I hope they find you soon.

Good friends make me better off. They have changed me in good ways. They haven’t just been people to complain to and go to movies with. They do this really amazing thing of knowing who I am, accepting who I am, and loving who I am. I mean… I can’t even do that for myself all the time! But these people who have heard me make a fool of myself, seen what a mess I can make of my bedroom, and experienced me obsess over things that won’t fulfill me… they choose to love me, and they express that to me.

Here’s how I’m better off because of these people:

• when I thought I had screwed up bad enough to lose my job, one friend picked me up at almost midnight to encourage me and cheer me up
• when I finally ended a saga and let go of an apathetic guy, one friend (my best) sent me an email full of praise, making me sound like the most wonderful girl that he rejected
• when I realized that I needed to end said saga, another friend sat until I had talked out and freaked out
• when I’m ever frowning (even if just on the inside), one of my roommates notices and checks on me
• when I’m broke, my friends buy my meal
• when I need to talk, I know that I’m welcome to waltz into my friend’s bedroom, day or night, without introduction or reason
• when I scream in my sleep, my friend is ready to beat up somebody with a field hockey stick, just in case that’s ever the reason that I’m screaming
• when I’m afraid that I’m abnormal, my (best) friend always proves that I’m not by sharing her own relatable experiences with me and assuring me that I’m fine
• when I need a place to stay, my friends offer their parents’ house
• when I want to quote the hilariousness of favorite movies and shows, there are the perfect friends who appreciate them as much as I do
• when I lament my inability to be funny, my friends remind me that my laughing makes up for it
• and much more.

So what have my friends done to me? They’ve spoiled me for fair-weather friends, mediocre friends, and uncaring friends. I’m accustomed to the best now.

The more tired you are the comfier it becomes, etc.

Have you noticed how much more comfortable that hard couch, thin futon, or feet-smelling carpet becomes when you’re very tired? The increase in comfiness is directionally proportional to how glorious it feels to close your eyes. Your body ceases to feel the springs poking into your sides; your senses fail to detect the lights and noises that might otherwise hinder sleep.

It makes me think of Lampy on Brave Little Toaster, plunking down on that rock for the night. Anybody!? As children’s movies often are, Brave Little Toaster (1987) was strange and somewhat disturbing, but I do have fond memories of watching it. And Lampy was my favorite.

Just one of those things.

Here’s a random peeve about traveling: I like pilots… especially when they tell jokes on the PA. But why do they insist on telling passengers what direction and speed the wind is blowing on the ground at the arrival destination? “Alright folks, sorry about the turbulence there. Better the plane be shaken than stirred – ha ha! We should be touching down in Sacramento in the next 30 minutes, where it’s a breezy 65 degrees. And get this: that breeze is coming from the northwest at 17 miles per hour!” Thank you, Captain Weathervane.

Technorati

I’m trying to get Basie’s Boots indexed on Technorati!

This site is the leading online blog directory. I first learned about it in the same college communications class that inspired me to begin blogging in the first place.

Hoping they accept me!

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Audrey

I once heard Audrey Hepburn described as “the perfect woman.” I tend to agree. What didn’t she do?

-she danced
-she was an award-winning actress
-she sang
-her children speak well of their mother
-she was a humanitarian
-she was humbly beautiful
-she was both sweet and strong
-her speaking brought out the beauty in French and English alike
-she starred opposite  Hollywood’s great leading men of the era
-she was a style icon

Though it’s difficult to pick a favorite, I love the movie Charade (1963) [spoiler], in which she stars with the dashing Cary Grant. Of course Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Roman Holiday, The Nun’s Story, Wait Until Dark, The Children’s Hour, Paris When it Sizzles, My Fair Lady, and How to Steal a Million are all fabulous. I have yet to see others like War and Peace and Love in the Afternoon.

I could go on!

This poem is supposedly not, as was rumored, about Audrey Hepburn. But it could be:

Time Tested Beauty Tips 

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.

*Poem: Sam Levenson

A foot-in-mind syndrome

Okay, that’s it. I’m starting to think that I just make things up in my head, and that it happens often.

I just had an email exchange with an acquaintance. I apologized for bailing on a group volunteer project, and she told me that she hadn’t even noticed my irresponsibility. For almost the last two months, though, we haven’t spoken when we’ve had a glimpse of each other. And I could have sworn that she had a disappointed look on her face when she saw me. I thought it was all attributed to negative feelings she had toward me.

Contrarily, she was friendly and gracious in her email, and called me a sweetheart. Exhibit A of my imagination troubles.

Exhibit B: I liked somebody for a long time. By ‘liked’ I mean still love, and by ‘long time’ I mean 14 years (give or take). It seriously took me until this last Valentine’s Day (ironic) to realize that I was the only one with those feelings. As The Wallflowers sang: I slow dance to this romance on my own. Siiighhh.

Exhibit C: I like somebody (else) (again). Most of my interactions with him have been, I felt, pretty stoic and lacking in any meaningful significance. I just can’t seem to think or speak anything resembling wit, intellect, character, and/or depth around him. Therefore, I guess I can’t be that surprised when he never seems interested in me or what I have to say. But maybe I’m making that up, too!

And that is the foot-in-mind syndrome. I wonder if it’s  linked to my frequent conversations with myself.

This can all come back around to a valuable lesson I learned in my teen years, from a book my mom gave me by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book is The Four Agreements, and the lesson is to never assume. Never ass-u-me. I guess I should remember to do that more often.

2010 in review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Minty-Fresh™.

Crunchy numbers

The Leaning Tower of Pisa has 296 steps to reach the top. This blog was viewed about 1,100 times in 2010. If those were steps, it would have climbed the Leaning Tower of Pisa 4 times

In 2010, there were 7 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 57 posts. There were 10 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 4mb. That’s about a picture per month.

The busiest day of the year was August 17th with 14 views. The most popular post that day was Mothers and Daughters.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, en.search.wordpress.com, tineye.com, search.aol.com, and linkedin.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for cute high heels, cute heels, tiananmen square china, high heels, and hotel del coronado.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Mothers and Daughters May 2010

2

Cat Got My Tongue July 2009

3

Footwear Torture April 2009

4

Twitter March 2009
2 comments

5

Music Items February 2009
2 comments

I’ve heard the call of the wild

The call of the Wyoming wild! I won’t be posting for at least a month and a half, for I will be communing with God and nature for 40 days and nights. Yep!

Check it out.

Gannett Peak, Wind River Range



A few Summer days in January

Book: Summer
Author: Edith Wharton
Particulars: Published in McClure’s magazine and then as a book by D. Appleton and Company in 1917. Two hundred pages.

I thought I had her figured out, but she kept me on my toes after all.

This is the third Wharton book I’ve read, after Ethan Frome and The House of Mirth. When I hit the midpoint of Summer, I thought I’d figured out some commonalities among her books. It turned out that I was only half right.

I decided that her characters beckon a reader to become attached. I struggle to try to understand them, and I am concerned for their well-being. At first I thought that  I was attached to Mirth‘s Lily and Summer‘s Charity because they were women, but I remember being just as attached to Ethan.

So far, that could be right. It’s only a subjective opinion.

I then decided that Wharton isn’t shy about tragedy. I threw up my hands and accused her of writing love stories that were never to last long or end happy.

This decision came when I did one of those half-accidental, apprehensive, glutton-for-punishment flips to the back of the book. Whenever I do this, its under the pretense  of seeing how many pages there are or something else as silly but justifiable. Once I’ve turned the bulk of the pages my eyes slip up, skim and zero in on the book’s conclusion in a quick, seamless sweep.

Anyway, I turned to the back and saw some glaring evidence that Summer chronicles the life, and more importantly death, of a love story. Thus we return to the moment I threw up my hands in exasperation.

It ended happier than I expected, however. Wharton has the last smile.

The reason the fate of the main character and of the love story become so important to me when I read Wharton is because she can translate the emotion of human experience into words. I think she is a master of doing this in an exploratory way. Some authors stay on the periphery and tell you what’s happening on the outside, which lets each reader explore inside the character and come out with their individual conclusions. Wharton brings you in and positions you to see out of the character’s eyes and process what the character feels, even as they do the same.

So, I will not doubt the lady with the pen again.

Cat Got My Tongue

It’s about time I publicly announce that I’ve been in a major uninspired lull with Basie’s Boots. I apologize. Hopefully I come back soon with some good stuff!

I leave you with a picture of the coolest-looking hotel, the Hotel del Coronado on Coronado island off San Diego. I was recently there to see this building, established in the late 1880s!

Hotel del Coronado

Belated Memorial Day

It is unlike me to not recognize Memorial Day in some public forum, but I didn’t this year because I couldn’t find how I wanted to do it. Well, I came across this video today. You can’t beat Norah Jones and PBS.